Recently, I scrolled through an interesting thread. Someone asked, “What are examples of toxic femininity?” Women and men answered to deliver this authentic list of responses.
1. Shaming C-Section Moms
One person answered, “Mothers shaming C-Section moms when saying they didn’t give birth because the doctor removed the child surgically.” Another asked, “What are we supposed to tell them? You were from your mother’s womb untimely ripped?”
A third person questioned, “This is a thing? They realize that many women and babies would die without C-sections, right? Imagine being so insecure that you must put others down for how they gave birth.”
2. Mothers Shaming Women Without Children
“Mothers who tell women without kids that their life is meaningless and they can’t understand true love,” someone responded.” Another said, “It sounds like – I can’t imagine not being a mother! It’s the most rewarding, amazing, humbling thing I have ever done! I wouldn’t give this up for a six-figure salary with a month’s paid vacation!”
3. Seeing Women as Competition and Tearing Them Down
“Putting other women down, period. It’s so much worse when they pretend to be friends with these people and then talk trash about them the moment they leave,” someone volunteered.
“Also, comparing women to other women,” another shared.” My mother always did this to me, saying, ‘Why can’t you be more social like your cousin’ etc. Ruined my self-esteem for life, and I have a big issue with uncontrollable envy.”
4. Formula Shaming
A father shared, “My wife could not produce enough milk for our children. When our first was born, she tried and tried. I woke up in the middle of the night to her crying. She felt like a horrible mom, even for bringing up the formula.”
“There is so much pressure on moms, and it is stupid. Our kids are very well-adjusted and were on the formula the entire time. I tell anyone expecting their first that the only right way is the right way for that child. Forget everyone else’s opinions; do what is best for your family, not the mommy bloggers.”
5. Denying Women Can Be The Abusers
“Thinking women cannot be perpetrators of domestic abuse, sexual assault, and rape,” one said. “The female abusers have mastered the victim card and gaslighting; their primary defenses when challenged on their abusive behavior.”
“Also, if you’re a woman abused by another woman, it’s even more frustrating cause people assume because we’re the same gender, we must be able to work it out. Like what? Let me count the reasons I never want to see this ABUSER again,” another shared.
6. Using Traditional Roles for Convenience
“Women that only want traditional values when it benefits them. I.e., men should be doing the cooking and the cleaning equally, but trash duty and yard work are the man’s job,” stated one.
Another stated, “My sister-in-law stays at home, not working, no kids. Refuses to do any housework until my (working) brother is there, as they should share the cleaning 50/50!”
7. That Single Women Should Be Sad
“Right?” One questioned, “If you can’t live with yourself and be happily single, why would you expect somebody else to put up with you? Too many relationships explode because one or both people are dumb enough to expect another to compensate for issues they can’t even sort out on their own.”
8. Equality for Who Benefits Most
“Wanting to be treated equally only in certain situations, depending on who benefits most from it,” one said. “You can’t pick and choose like that. We should all be treated all the time equally, in every aspect. “This! It’s extremely frustrating because it undermines attempts at equality,” another agreed.
9. Throwing Women Under The Bus for a Man
“Women who throw other women under the bus for a man or the attention of a man,” one stated. Another said, “Male validation is one hell of a drug. ‘Pick me’ women are the worst. Trying so hard to be the cool girl who is not like other women as if that will save her bodily autonomy.”
10. Anything Multi-Level-Marketing (MLM)
“Any MLM scam,” shared one. “You are so pretty just need to use my product for blah blah blah, and then they steal your money!” Another said, “I swear it’s so shady of them! It honestly hurts. I know I am not pretty or attractive by your definition, but please stop commenting on things I should do to look better.”
Piggybacking off this, another said, “Hey girl, I noticed you were overweight. Wanna try some of my overpriced and underregulated products that’ll do nothing? They’re so insensitive too.”
11. Mom Groups for Medical Advice
“Mom groups constantly supporting weird things like chiropractors and essential oils and speak that fake, ‘You got this mama’ type camaraderie. Another shared, “I kid you not. I’ve seen posts about ‘My baby is dealing with x, y, and z, and the doctor said it’s x, and I think I need a second opinion.’
“And there’s always that one mom saying, ‘My baby goes to the chiro over in X town and gets his neck cracked weekly. No more x, y, and z!’ Give me a break.”
12. Judging Women for Not Being Their Standard of Heels and Makeup
“Judging other women for not wanting to wear heels. It’s a freaking spike attached to the bottom of your foot!!! Why is this still a thing expected to look professional or classy? I’m convinced most of the pressure comes from other women,” someone confessed.
“Same with makeup,” another asked, “What is wrong with not wanting to spend two hours every morning painting your face?” A third added, “And the women who will shame others for liking makeup and heels fall under the definition of toxic too.”
Source: Reddit.
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10 of the Worst TV Series Ever According to the Internet
There’s Seinfeld, The Sopranos, Game of Thrones, The Office, and other legendary shows. But have you considered that for each show that garners universal critical acclaim, there is an inverse show lurking on the other end of the IMDb rating scale?
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Sometimes, a cover of a song ends up doing far better than the original. Some covers are so good that we didn’t even realize the cover version wasn’t actually the original.
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These 11 Movies Are So Bad You’ll Wish You Could Unsee Them
The movies we love best are a combination of excellent characters, plots, stories and cinematography. But if these factors can make great movies, they can also make terrible movies—the ones that make people cringe, the ones we swear they’ll never watch again.
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10 Celebrities Who Are Universally Disliked
People will always have preferences and something to say about celebrities. What you might love may not be the same for others. Whether it’s about their past behaviors, legal issues, or feuds with other celebrities, here is a list of celebrities people just cannot stand.
Saving for a down payment is one of the biggest obstacles between first-time home buyers and home ownership.
Luckily, there are now ways to get a 0% down payment.
Thanks to options from FHA and more than 2000 state and local down payment programs accessible through Down Payment Resource, first-time buyers put down only 4 percent last year compared to 14 percent of repeat buyers.[1]
FHA loans, as well as many local down payment programs, are available to buyers regardless of income. However, it is also possible to get a mortgage without putting anything down if you have the right credentials.
Here are three programs that can still snag you a 0% down mortgage.
VA Loans
The Veterans Administration guarantees purchase mortgages with no required down payment for qualified veterans, active-duty service members and certain members of the National Guard and Reserves. Private lenders originate VA loans, which the VA guarantees. There is no mortgage insurance. The borrower pays a funding fee, which can be rolled into the loan amount.
For first-time purchasers making no down payment, the funding fee is 2.15% for members or veterans of the regulator military and 2.4% for those who qualify through service in the Reserves or National Guard.
Navy Federal Credit Union
Navy Federal Credit Union, the nation’s largest credit union in assets and membership, offers 100% percent financing to qualified members who buy primary homes. Navy Federal eligibility is restricted to members of the military, some civilian employees of the military and U.S. Department of Defense, and family members.
The credit union’s zero-down program is similar to the VA’s. One difference is cost: Navy Federal’s funding fee of 1.75% is less than the VA’s funding fees.
US Department of Agriculture
You don’t have to be a farmer to qualify for the USDA’s Rural Development mortgage guarantee program. You just have to live in a rural or semi-rural area and qualify as a low-to-moderate income homebuyer in your community.
USDA home loans have a maximum purchase price and may also cover home repairs and improvements. Another key benefit is that USDA mortgage rates are often lower than rates for comparable, low- or no-down-payment mortgages. Financing a home via the USDA can be the lowest cost means of homeownership.
Local and State Programs
Of course, there are plenty of low down payment options out there too. In addition to FHA, homebuyers, especially first time home buyers can qualify for low down payment loan programs sponsored by state or local housing authorities. Contact Down Payment Resource to find programs where you live.
WASHINGTON — The Bank Policy Institute and the American Bankers Association penned a joint letter Tuesday urging federal bank regulators to delay finalizing the most sweeping revisions to the Community Reinvestment Act — an anti-redlining bill — in decades.
The letter, sent by BPI and ABA to the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation and the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency suggested regulators should delay any final CRA rule until the agencies’ joint Basel III capital rules are finalized. They posited regulators had not considered how the new capital requirements lower the incentive for banks to engage in CRA activities like low down payment mortgages to low-income families.
“The proposed capital rules would reduce incentives to engage in mortgage lending, which is central to the CRA programs of many banks,” they said. “Many banks offer low down payment mortgages as a means of meeting the credit needs of low- and moderate-income families.”
In addition to asking regulators to pause the CRA rule to accommodate the likely reduction in mortgage lending, the letter also said that a constitutional challenge to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau’s funding structure should give regulators pause as they move ahead with a final rule. The banking industry has previously expressed opposition to the CRA revamp on the grounds it oversteps congressional authority.
A Texas district court judge last month temporarily barred the CFPB from enforcing its 1071 rule until after the Supreme Court rules on the constitutionality of the CFPB’s funding structure sometime next year.
“The banking agencies should delay finalization of the CRA rules until a final determination is made regarding the status of the rules promulgated under Section 1071, which will affect how the agencies administer certain aspects of the CRA rules,” the banking groups said.
While the necessity for a CRA update is widely acknowledged, the banking industry has expressed louder opposition as new Basel III endgame requirements and post-banking crisis reforms coincide with the new CRA standards.
In a comment letter in August, 2022 the Bank Policy Institute said the agencies’ joint proposed rule exceeded statutory mandate, added needless complexity and broad application and was overly punitive in its application toward banks. Another major trade group, the American Bankers Association, made similar claims in an August comment letter, saying the proposal missed the mark. ABA said they were concerned that significant numbers of banks would need to invest more in their retail lending departments to pass retail lending examinations under the new rule.
The Community Reinvestment Act was passed in 1977 to bar banks from accepting deposits from lower-income communities without making commensurate levels of loans to those communities — a problem for many communities of color in the first years since explicit racial discrimination in lending was outlawed. The law requires banks to make loans to low- and moderate- income borrowers in the institution’s “assessment area,” defined as areas where the bank has its headquarters, branches or deposit-taking ATMs.
Banks are assessed for compliance at least every five years by their primary regulator. Banks are graded in three areas: lending, investment and service, weighted as 50%, 25% and 25% of the examination respectively. Banks are then assigned a rating of “outstanding,” “satisfactory,” “needs to improve” or “noncompliant” based on their performance.
If a bank is deemed to have less than a “satisfactory” rating, then it may not merge with or acquire another banking institution or modify its charter until it achieves compliance. But critics have argued that most banks receive either an outstanding or satisfactory rating, meaning that virtually no banks face the regulatory burdens that the CRA can impose.
Former Comptroller of the Currency Joseph Otting sought to reform the implementation of the CRA during the Trump administration, but community advocates argued that his reforms were too favorable to banks and would yield little additional investment in the communities that need it the most. Bank regulators issued their revised proposal last year. — John Heltman contributed to this report
Today’s trading session doesn’t really qualify as a strong one for the bond market, but we could probably justify saying there was an absence of additional weakness. Even that looked like it would be a tall order this morning as yields technically hit another super long term high before settling down into the afternoon. Existing Home Sales data was at the scene of the move, but we don’t see it as a market mover. Best case scenario: sellers are finally getting tired and things will either stay flat or correct modestly ahead of Friday’s Jackson Hole talk from Powell.
Existing Home Sales
4.07m vs 4.15m f’cast, 4.16m prev
10:09 AM
Stronger in Europe, but giving up all gains in domestic trading. 10yr unchanged at 4.344. MBS down an eighth of a point.
11:42 AM
10yr back into positive territory, down 2bps at 4.322. MBS roughly unchanged.
03:31 PM
MBS off the highs, but liquidity is distorting the move. 6.0 coupons down 1 tick (.03) on the day and about an eighth from intraday highs. 10yr down 1.2bps at 4.33, but off the most recent lows of 4.314.
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The average U.S. mortgage rate for a 30-year fixed loan is 2.88% this week, falling from last week’s 2.9%, Freddie Mac said in a report on Thursday. The rate is now two basis points from an all-time low set three weeks ago.
The average fixed rate for a 15-year mortgage was 2.36%, falling from last week’s 2.4% to a level that’s one basis point away from the record 2.35% set two weeks ago, the mortgage giant said.
It was the tenth consecutive week average mortgage rates have been below 3%, boosting demand for homes and driving up prices, said Sam Khater, Freddie Mac’s chief economist.
“As a result of low mortgage rates that have stayed under three percent since July, the housing market has seen a strong, upward trajectory during a very uncertain time,” said Khater. “We’re seeing potential homebuyers who now have more purchasing power.”
Pending home sales, measuring signed contracts to purchase properties, soared 8.8% in August to a record high, the National Association of Realtors said in a report on Wednesday.
“Tremendously low mortgage rates – below 3% – have again helped pending home sales climb in August,” said Lawrence Yun, NAR’s chief economist. “Additionally, the Fed intends to hold short-term fed funds rates near 0% for the foreseeable future, which should in the absence of inflationary pressure keep mortgage rates low, and that will undoubtedly aid homebuyers continuing to enter the marketplace.”
The housing market typically plays a counter-cyclical role during recessions because economic slowdowns tend to push mortgage rates lower, Yun said. However, this time surpassed his expectations, he said.
“While I did very much expect the housing sector to be stable during the pandemic-induced economic shutdowns, I am pleasantly surprised to see the industry bounce back so strongly and so quickly,” Yun said.
In March, the Federal Reserve started buying bonds – Treasuries and mortgage-backed securities – to prevent a credit crunch and make borrowing cheaper. Since then, the central bank has bought about $1 trillion of bonds backed by home loans, according to Fed data.
When it seems that we’ve only known pain in the mortgage rate world recently, the absence of pain is a welcome relief. Such was the case today with the average mortgage lender offering terms that were almost perfectly in line with yesterday’s.
This “flat victory” looked like too much to hope for earlier this morning. The bond market was weaker to begin the US trading day (weaker bonds = higher rates, all other things being equal) and the average lender was indeed in higher territory to start.
Bonds bounced back in the late morning hours, thus allowing most lenders to make favorable mid-day adjustments to their rate offerings. It was only after those adjustments that the average moved back in line with yesterday’s.
Top tier conventional 30yr fixed rates remain near 7.5%. Paying discount points or having a less-than-perfect scenario can change that number for better or worse.
Many market participants are expecting “volatility” after Friday’s speech from Fed Chair Powell in Jackson Hole. That’s just a fancy way of saying the odds are higher for movement without specifying whether that movement will be higher or lower. Other market participants see today’s ground-holding in the bond market as evidence that the recent rate spike is getting tired.
It wasn’t long ago that real estate was deemed toxic, untouchable, whatever bad thing you want to call it.
But times have changed, thanks to low interest rates and massive price cuts. And one group seems to be taking advantage, namely, the Millennials.
If you’re not familiar, they are a group of youngsters born between 1980 and 1995, who also go by the name “Generation Y” and “Generation Next.”
Interestingly, it is this group that purchased the most real estate between July 2012 and June 2013, according to the 2014 NAR Home Buyer and Seller Generational Trends study released today.
Gen Y = Largest Share of Recent Home Buyers
Millennials don’t just text, play around on Twitter, and create cool Tumblr blogs. They also make money and buy things.
In fact, the group accounted for 31% of recent residential real estate purchases, leading all other generational groups.
At the same time, Generation Next had the smallest share of home sellers at just 12%, which makes sense given the young age.
The median age of a Millennial home buyer was 29 and median income was $73,600. An overwhelming 75% were first-home home buyers.
They were most likely to buy a property in an urban or central city area and stay in their homes for 10 years.
Interestingly, they purchase homes primarily for the “desire to own” a home, not to get rich.
In the home buying department, they were followed very closely by Gen X, which includes individuals born between 1965 and 1979.
For the record, I am part of Gen X, though just barely seeing that I was born in the summer of 1979. My group accounted for 30% of recent home purchases and the largest share of home sellers at 29%.
I’m assuming there was a lot of buying and selling in my generation because there were those that bought early and are now unloading, perhaps because of newly gained home equity.
Though 19% indicated that they had to pump the brakes on a home sale because of equity constraints.
Then there are those that did not buy during the boom, and wanted in after prices and rates tumbled. Fortunately for this latter group, they probably have good jobs, plenty of assets, and decent credit.
Gen X buyers plan to stay in their current homes for 15 years, and are most likely to think their home is a good financial investment (87%).
Boomers Aren’t Booming Anymore
The other generations in the study included Younger Boomers (1955-1964), Older Boomers (1946-54), and the so-called Silent Generation, those born between 1925 and 1945.
All three groups were relatively quiet on the home buying front, with 16% of recent home purchases coming from Younger Boomers, 14% from Older Boomers, and just nine percent from the Silent Generation.
This all makes sense, given the fact that most from these generations are already established and in homes they purchased years ago.
Most from these groups, along with Gen Xers, bought homes in suburban areas, as opposed to the city.
And roughly a quarter of both sets of Boomers own more than one home, including an investment property and/or vacation home.
Almost nine out of 10 buyers used a mortgage to purchase their home, and the all-cash share increased with age, as expected.
Foreclosure inventory hit a 15-month low in July representing the continued strength of mortgage performance.
Loans in active foreclosure fell to 220,000 – the fewest since just after the end of federal foreclosure moratoria – and were down 63,000 or 22% from February 2020, prior to the pandemic, according to Black Knight’s mortgage performance statistics.
July’s foreclosure starts of 26,300 were 4% below the average number of such actions over the preceding 12 months and remain 39% below pre-pandemic levels.
Foreclosure starts equated to 5.6% of 90+ day delinquencies – still more than three percentage points below pre-pandemic foreclosure referral rates. July’s foreclosure sales (completions) of 6,100 nationally were down 11% from June.
“Both serious delinquencies falling to their lowest levels since the pre-Great Financial Crisis era along with foreclosure inventories falling to a 15-month low speak to the continued strength of mortgage performance and the long-term financial benefits received by borrowers that were able to lock in record low 30-year rates for the life of their loans in recent years,” Andy Walden, vice president of enterprise research and strategy for Black Knight, said.
Prepayment activity fell under easing seasonal home buying pressure along with interest rates briefly rising above 7% and ending July at 6.88%. Prepayment was still down 28% from July 2022.
National delinquency rate edged up 9 basis points in July to 3.21%. But compared to the same period last year, it was down 12 bps.
Serious delinquencies – which refer to 90+ days past due – continued to improve, falling to 468,000 – the lowest level seen since the pre-Great Financial Crisis housing market peak and down 161,000 (-26%) from July 2022.
Mortgages that were delinquent by 30 days rose by 35,000 in July, with 60-day delinquency climbing by 17,000 (6.4%).
“With early-stage delinquencies among more recent originations trending higher and economic uncertainty on the horizon, mortgage performance will be worth tracking closely as we move toward the tail end of 2023,” Walden noted.
The Social Security Administration (SSA) requires you to fill out a form and provide proof of your identity and name change to update your Social Security card. There are three ways to request a name change on your card, and you can get a new card for free.
What you need to change your name on your Social Security card
You’ll need up-to-date records, and they must be original documents or copies that were certified by the agency that issued them
. In most cases, you can’t provide expired documentation. Photocopies won’t work.
Proof of identity
Because a Social Security card is a legal record, you’ll need to prove you are who you say you are. This type of document or record should include identifying information, such as your date of birth. The SSA also prefers that the documentation includes a recent photograph. You can use a:
U.S. driver’s license.
U.S. passport.
Nondriver ID card issued by your state.
If you don’t have any of those records available, you can ask to use a different form of ID, such as one issued by your school or employer, or a health insurance card.
Proof of name change
You’ll need to prove to the SSA that you have legally changed your name. To do so, provide documentation that shows why you’re changing your name, such as a:
Marriage license.
Divorce decree.
Court order showing the approved name change.
Certificate of naturalization with the new name.
🤓Nerdy Tip
If you changed your name on other documentation more than two years ago, you’ll need to provide records that use your previous name. People under 18 years of age have a grace period of four years before this requirement kicks in.
Proof of citizenship
If you haven’t provided proof of citizenship to the SSA before, you’ll need to provide documentation showing your citizenship status. You can use a U.S. birth certificate or U.S. passport.
How to update your Social Security card
There are three ways to submit a request to change your name on your Social Security card. All three use the same application.
Submitting a request online
You can submit a request online to change your name on your Social Security card if you’re at least 18 years old and have a U.S. mailing address
. The online system walks you through the process by asking you one question at a time and alerting you if any of your answers requires you to apply in person.
Once you’ve submitted your request online, you’ll need to provide proof of identity. This must be done in person at either an SSA office or a Social Security card center within 45 days of submitting your application.
To request a name change online:
Select the “Apply Now” button.
Read the Privacy Act Statement, and select the “Next” button.
Answer the required questions, which are followed by a red asterisk. Select the “Next” button to submit your answers and move to each new question.
For the questions regarding race and ethnicity, choose whether you want to answer them. These questions are optional and don’t affect your application being approved.
For documentation, choose the types of records you plan to provide and fill out the appropriate information for each one.
The next page provides a summary of your information. Review it and make edits as needed. If everything looks good, select the “Next” button.
On the final page, read the information and check the box to show that you understand how to submit your documentation. Once you’ve checked the box, select the “Submit Application Package” button. Your application won’t be submitted online if you skip this step.
Gather the necessary documentation to prove your identity and name change.
Take the documentation to an SSA office within 45 days to complete your application.
Printing out the application
If you prefer to fill out a traditional form or can’t complete the online application, you can download the application and do it offline. To do this:
Decide how you want to fill it out: Download it and fill it out on a computer before printing it or print it first and fill it out by hand. Instructions for how to complete the form are on Page 3 of the document.
Gather the necessary documentation to prove your identity and name change.
Either mail the packet to an SSA office or go in person to submit your application and documentation.
While the agency will return any records you send, consider using certified copies to avoid losing an original document if your packet is lost.
Visiting a local SSA office
You can complete the entire process in person at an SSA office if you’d prefer to have someone help you. But the SSA warns that some offices might be too busy to see you the same day, and you may need to schedule an appointment
. You can search for the nearest office at SSA.gov.
To make the process as easy as possible:
Get the necessary documentation together to prove your identity and name change.
Locate the nearest SSA office.
Call the SSA office to find out if you need an appointment and to learn what the average wait time is.
Take your documentation to the SSA office and fill out an application in person when someone is able to see you.
Reasons to change your name on your Social Security card
You need to keep the SSA up to date if you change your name for any reason. The following are reasons you’re likely to need a new name on your Social Security card.
You got divorced and want to go back to your previous name.
You’ve been adopted.
You don’t want to be associated with your birth or family name for personal reasons.
You now identify yourself with a new name. For example, you transitioned and now identify as a different gender than what was assigned at birth.
You had to amend or correct your birth certificate.
You recently became a U.S. citizen.
Pros and cons of changing your name on your Social Security card
The benefits of changing the name on your Social Security card include:
Your government and nongovernment records will match to avoid issues with proving your identity in the future.
Government agencies will have the same name on file, which can avoid issues like your tax refund being delayed
.
But there are a few downsides to changing your name on your Social Security card:
You have to update a lot of records, possibly including employment records, voter registration, insurance policies, utility and mortgage accounts, deeds, credit card accounts, credit reports, and doctor and pharmacy records.
You’ll have to get new physical IDs, including your driver’s license and passport.
If you file your taxes before your name change is complete, your tax return could be affected
.
Getting help with updating your Social Security card
If you have trouble completing the application, you can call the SSA at 800-772-1213 and tell them you need help replacing your Social Security card. Its office is open Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. Assistance is available in English and other languages.
If you’re hard of hearing or deaf, you can call the SSA at TTY 800-325-0778 for assistance.
Frequently asked questions
How long does it take to change your name on your Social Security card?
The SSA estimates that it takes up to an hour to complete the application, but it will take up to 14 days for your application to be processed and to receive your new card in the mail.
Will I get a new Social Security number if I change my name?
No, your Social Security number will be the same after you change your name.
Which agencies do I need to notify of a name change?
You’ll need to notify some local and federal agencies to ensure your records match. You can find a list of recommended agencies at usa.gov.
Will changing my name affect my eligibility for Social Security benefits?
As long as you update your name with the SSA by requesting a new card, you should continue to receive benefits. If you want to be certain that you’ve done everything correctly, contact an SSA office.
The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) has taken action against Freedom Mortgage Corporation (Freedom), handing down a $1.75 million fine to the mortgage lender for providing alleged illegal incentives to real estate brokers in exchange for mortgage loan referrals. Freedom has also been ordered to cease all unlawful activities. Real estate brokers and agents reportedly … [Read more…]