Know how many Google search results there are for the phrase âmanage burnout?â Over 39 million! It seems the struggle is still so real for so many. Luckily, there’s no shortage of tips on how to manage your own burnout.
But what if yours is feeling managedâ¦and now it seems your boss may be the one whoâs struggling? Like second-hand smoke, your bossâs burnout may still present risks to your own sense of wellbeing.
If you suspect your boss may be suffering from burnout (and you, in turn, are feeling the pain) then letâs talk about what you can do to turn things aroundâfor both of you.
What boss burnout might look like
My friend Jay needed some advice last month. His team has developed a new product that theyâll be bringing to market shortly. Jay has cleared out a bunch of other priorities to ensure his team has all the time and space they need to make this product a win.
Things were going well until Jayâs boss Clara took a keen interest in the product. Sheâs been popping into meetings, micromanaging, showing uncontrolled anger when she doesnât like an idea, and throwing to-dos onto peopleâs plates that arenât aligned with the priorities Jay has set. âThis behavior is so unlike the Clara Iâve known for nearly a decade! I have no idea whatâs going on with her,â he shared.
I asked whether it was possible Clara had too much on her plate, and he laughed. âShe canât even find the plate under everything thatâs on it,â he said.
I explained to Jay that what he (and his team) may be experiencing is Claraâs stress responseâthe side of us that can be triggered when faced with burnout.
âItâs time for you to have a chat with her,â I told him.
This can feel like an uncomfortable conversation to have. So we talked through some best practices sure to set him up for success.
How to address your bossâs burnout
Lead with empathy
If your boss is showing up in ways that are stressing you out, start by imagining what they must be carrying. Consider all their priorities, their stakeholders, their own need to impress and to get it all done.
When I pressed Jay to consider Claraâs experience, I watched his face begin to soften. He was able to stepâfor a momentâout of his frustration to recognize that sheâs working nearly non-stop, barely taking breaks, and sitting under loads of pressure.
And by imagining all the responsibilities sheâs shouldering, he was able to understand why her stress response may be emerging. This is one of the many dark sides of burnout.
Empathy does not excuse bad behaviorâit simply allows you to understand it, and address it from a more supportive place.
So begin with empathy before you gear up to have that conversation with your boss.
Check in with an ask
Jay scheduled a check-in with Clara. And armed with empathy, his goal wasnât to attack Clara or make her feel bad about how she was showing up. He was prepared simply to test his hypothesis that she was indeed burned out.
Telling someone theyâre burned out will likely put them on the defensive. It will feel like an attack, an accusation.
But beginning with empathy (âClara, Iâve noticed how many projects youâre overseeing and how much stress that might be creating for youâ) and then asking rather than telling (âIâm wondering how the workload is feeling for youâany chance you might be experiencing a bit of burnout?â) is likely to trigger an honest reflection.
Burnout is sometimes easier to recognize in others than it is to see our own experience of it.
If youâre in a similar position to Jay, be bold, be kind, and put that idea out there.
Name the impact
Once the suggestion of burnout has been named, itâs essential to describe the impact itâs having on others.
In Jayâs case, we wanted Clara to feel cared for, but equally to recognize that Jayâs concern wasnât just for her. It was for him and his team as well.
In an unaccusing way, Jay needed to help Clara see the cause-and-effect of her potential burnout. Jay needed a lot from his team in this momentâtheir energy, their willingness to experiment, their enthusiasm for the new product. And Claraâs presence was hindering these outcomes. So, he gently explained.
Here are some of the key points he prepared before heading into their conversation.
- He needed his teamâs enthusiasm to infect customers with the same. But Claraâs micromanaging was creating anxiety which was tempering their enthusiasm.
- His teamâs spirit of experimentation was being hampered by Claraâs quickness to anger. Their fear of her temper was pushing them to make only safe (boring) choicesânot the bold ones he needed.
- He was striving to empower his team to make decisions. But Claraâs micromanagement was encouraging them to âcheckâ every decision with himâwhich was exhausting and inefficient.
By laying out his points this way, Clara was able to focus on the business impacts at stake. And this ultimately invited Clara to solve a business problem, not a personal one.
Offer to partner
By this point, youâve helped your boss (a) recognize their potential burnout and (b) understand its implications on you and the business. Youâve already delivered value.
But if you want to go the extra mile (and if youâre listening to this, I think you do), why not offer to be part of the solution?
If your boss is open to a little bit of help, here are some ways you might be of service:
- Offer to be an extra set of eyes on the full list of their prioritiesâmaybe you can help them cross a few items off or postpone something for a month.
- Spot a piece of work on their list that you have the capacity and skill to take on, and offer to do so.
- Share a few of your favorite rest-and-recharge strategies – maybe your boss needs a reminder of the importance of taking quick breaks throughout the day.
- Ask if thereâs anything you can do differently to help minimize their stress or anxiety. Would a brief, daily update email from you offer assurances that all is on track?
I hope these strategies have resonated with you. Feeling inspired to go check in with your stressed-out boss? Donât forget to let me know how it goes!