Are you feeling down and out because of your single status? Don’t worry; it doesn’t have to be that way! This blog post is here to help turn things around by providing a list of the top 20 reasons why you’re single. Get ready for some laughs as we take an honest look at what might be keeping you from finding love. From considering yourself “too picky” to being too shy to put yourself out there, we address all the most common dating woes—plus offer up some invaluable advice on how to fix them! So if you want your happily ever after: read on!
1. You’re A Hermit
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One user posted, “I’m basically a hermit.”
Another user responded saying, “No drama, and the remote is f-ing mine.”
One user also affirmed, “Same, plus people [are generally terrible], so looking for companionship is also like sticking hands in a needle stack looking for a piece of hair.”
2. People Are Too Dramatic
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One Redditor also shared, “I have no energy for anything; people are draining and complicated.”
Another user replied, “Are you me? This is exactly how I feel. I get off work, and the last thing I want to do is have to deal with someone else.”
One Redditor added, “This is kinda one of the reasons I am not into any relationships with anyone. People are way too empty without any content, not interesting or serious about relationships, and many are also way too manipulative.”
3. You Have Nothing to Offer
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“I don’t have anything women want that better guys can’t provide,” one user added to the thread.
Another Redditor replied, “I’ve thought about this a lot.”
One user commented, “Dude, statistically better guys are already taken by a subset of girls. There should be plenty left on your level field. That is the problem with the girls: 90% of girls are after 10% of “better guys.” but once reality settles in, they will go after you as well.”
“Objectively speaking, though, no woman on earth is going to go for a disabled guy like me. They’ll be with me despite, not inclusive of, my disability. This has been my lived experience, to use an overused phrase, lol. They have a subconscious feeling of superiority that comes out in small ways. It’s a long f-ing story that would take too much time in a comment, but trust me here,” another commenter added.
However, one user commented, “I was married to a fine man for 26 years before death parted us. He had a disability that he was born with. I never thought of him as less than or disabled. He was simply my love. My person. We loved each other well and truly and had a family. It can happen.”
4. Too Many Fish in the Sea
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One user asked, “Have you actually seen the dating pool?! …There’s not enough chlorine in the world.”
Another user responded, “Lots of insects getting in the water…”
One commenter added, “Frogs in the filter.”
5. You Always Feel Odd
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One user explained, “The whole dating thing makes me just feel odd. I’m tired of everybody and the red or green flags. The arguments and all, I don’t want to deal with it. I’d rather be single.”
The OP of the thread commented, “Been cheated on. It made me scared to date again, I dated again, and some other stuff happened, and let’s say I’m now socially awkward and can’t talk to women anymore. Although I find it tiring, I’m trying my best not to lose hope.”
Another commenter added, “The red flag feels like canceling culture but for dating—one wrong move and you’re done.”
6. Haven’t Met the Right One
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One Redditor explained, “I honestly don’t know. A year and a half ago, I could have answered this quickly since I’d stay at home moping, just hoping someone would come calling. Well, of course, that wasn’t going to happen, so a year or so ago, I made myself get out, meet new people, befriend them, all the things you’re supposed to do.
“It didn’t work. People saw my kindness as a vessel to take advantage of and use me. I understood why doing nothing netted negative results. I don’t understand why doing the right thing also nets negative results. It makes no damn sense, it hurts, it’s made me cynical and depressed, and I don’t know what to do now.”
Another user commented, “Just keep being genuinely kind, start keeping boundaries, and it’ll weed out the bad people. You’ll meet someone eventually. Just take it slow.”
One commenter added, “Don’t close yourself off from other people. Also, be assertive and don’t let people take advantage of you. You don’t have to sacrifice your own needs to make people like you. Real friends are your friends because they enjoy your company, not because they gain materially from your presence. Yes, maybe someone you don’t let take advantage of you will not want anything to do with you, but that just means they were never going to be a true friend anyway.”
“I totally agree with what has been said here above; take a moment for yourself and establish some boundaries, some things you won’t accept being said or made, and get back in it. You might not find someone at first, but it’s fun and gets better,” concluded another person.
7. You Don’t Meet Enough People
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One user posted, “I just don’t meet enough people now that I’m over 30.”
Another user stated, “Was married in my 30s and now divorced in my early 40s. It doesn’t get any better, friend. Everyone has a family.”
One user commented, “This exact thing. Married for 15 years, and the guys available are all weird to me. Better alone than with someone that doesn’t fit again.”
Another user answered, “I hope this will never be me. I’m already socially awkward due to my last relationship.”
8. You Just Don’t Like People
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Another user shared, “I hate people.”
One user replied, “Bingo!”
One person confirmed, “So true. If you hope to receive unconditional love in your life, get a dog. Dogs are better than people anyhow.”
9. Scared to Date
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One user shared, “Recovering from a divorce, I want a solid relationship; I’m also scared to re-enter the dating world.”
Another user replied, “Same here, dating looks scary in this landscape, and it’s okay to be happy on your own.”
“But I’m not happy on my own. I’m miserable. And to add insult to injury (and tangibility to metaphysical), I can’t afford … Anything as a result of only having one income. No house. No vacations. No enjoying the single life. Just a pointless, lonely ‘grind…’ More like a ‘skid.’ And it’s not like I just came out of the gate yesterday, either. I’m tired, boss,” the first user added.
10. You Like Your Freedom
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One user shared, “I like the freedom.”
Another user responded, “I feel this so much.”
“Same. Enjoying independence!” exclaimed another Redditor.
11. You Don’t Think People Deserve You
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A user shared, “Because 99.9% of the people in this world don’t deserve me.”
Another user replied, “Someone out there for you. Happy cake day, pal.”
12. Your Mom Said No
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One Redditor posted, “My mom said no.”
Another user replied, “When I was a teen, my parents didn’t let me date. When I was 18, they still didn’t. But ofc I still dated secretly, and to this day, all of my past relationships were secret. They still believe I have never had a date.”
However, one commenter asked, “Did you try asking out anyone else?”
13. You Don’t Like the Dating World
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One user explained, “I have no tolerance for what dating has become. I’m just old enough to remember when standing someone up on a date made you a piece of [crap]. Male or female. Now it’s called ghosting, and not only is it expected. We actually blame the person who got ghosted and says they must have done something wrong. I’m a Xennial who mostly sides with millennials over boomers. But you really f-ed up making ghosting socially acceptable.”
Another commenter replied, “I also don’t understand why people ghost. Even my friends, they ghost me. And it makes me think that I’m a boring person because I am always the one who gets ghosted. If my friends ghost me, what about a potential SO? And it gives me trauma to open up with anyone fully because it feels like they’re toying with me. So, maybe this is how my life is. No matter how hard I try, they just don’t care, and they always leave me in the end without even saying goodbye or telling me my faults.”
14. No One Seems Interested
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One Redditor shared, “No one seems interested enough to get to know me. I don’t really have many opportunities to meet people. I work full-time 2nd shift, and I work every other weekend. I don’t have any friends either ’cause I didn’t keep in touch with any childhood friends.”
Another user added, “Didn’t keep in touch either. Recently I found an old friend on FB, added them, and they added me; I tagged them in a post, and then, for some reason, blocked me. [It’s terrible]. No clue why.”
One user answered, “Might I suggest, don’t tag people. It shows up on all their friends’ feeds. It might be what they deem inappropriate or something they don’t want to be attributed to. Instead, share a private message. Then, it gives you a chance to start a private conversion as well.”
The OP responded, “Yeah. I sent them a dm and got no response. And I posted a picture of my elementary school yearbook with all my classmates in it, and bam. Who knows why…”
15. Taking Care of Family
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One Redditor posted, “I am 31, divorced, living with my 76-year-old dad. I take care of him; he has cancer and Parkinson’s. I don’t have much of a life right now. I am okay with that. I don’t know how much more time I have with my dad, and I am just focusing on taking care of him.
“I have been taking care of my ex-husband (multiple injuries at work and cancer), my ex-in-laws, my eldest brother, my mom, and one aunt. After this, I am taking care of myself. I’ll probably be single for a while after he passes too.”
Another user replied, “I understand. I’m looking forward to spending my energy on myself.”
16. Not Great at Talking To Women
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“I’m not great at approaching women, and all the women I’d consider in the friend group I’m in have boyfriends. I get matches on dating apps, but nothing ever comes out of those; the conversation never escalates into anything interesting. I think I’m also a unique person that’s gonna have a more challenging time finding a match—I’m already a person with only a few friends. My personality is not going to be a match with everyone.”, exclaimed one user.
17. You Have Trust Issues
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“B/c I have trust issues,” one user shared.
Another user replied, “Same…mental illness and baggage and being betrayed.”
One user agreed, “Same.”
18. Not Ready to Commit
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One Redditor posted, “Few reasons: I married at 20. She left me 13 months later after five years into the relationship where she had family drama and moved in with me my senior year before high school, which complicated a lot of things since I was basically married at that point. She was emotionally abusive and left me for a coworker she told me not to worry about. A month after she left, she moved in with him in a new apartment, and once our divorce was final, she announced she was three months pregnant and remarried two days after what would’ve been our 2nd anniversary and not even a year after she left me.
“After my year-long [promiscuous] phase, I realized I didn’t want to be that way and once again attempted a relationship. For nearly a year, I was in on-again, off-again situations with someone I did fall for hard. In the end, she kept using me as a placeholder every time she and her abusive ex would break up. In the end, she just told me she was using me and felt guilty, and I was essentially a placeholder for her, hoping that her ex would get help. And I’ve still yet to recover from that.
“I’m stuck in this weird middle of wanting something intimate and to have someone I can call my person, and also wanting my isolation and freedom, which is a very confusing state of mind. Dating is hard and exhausting. No matter how many dates I go on with however many people, something just isn’t clicking for me or my dates. I haven’t found my person yet, and that’s okay. Maybe one day I will. I’ll continue trying, but I accept that being single is okay.”
Another user replied, “I really feel with you on this point. I keep missing the intimacy of a partner. However, I am not ready for the responsibility and commitment of a relationship. I am not a big fan of hookup culture; due to past relationships, I need to feel safe with my sexual partners.”
19. Not Loving Yourself
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One Redditor commented, “I don’t love myself; therefore, I cannot love someone else.”
Another user added, “I hate that line. Of course, you can love someone else. Yeah, one should work on themselves, and if they don’t, their relationship may falter—but the idea you cannot love someone else is pure horsesh-t.”
Another person replied, “You can hate yourself But you love your friends, your family… You love gaming, art, music… And someone else can love you to death, even with your ‘flaw’ of hating yourself, and if they really love you, they’ll want nothing but the best for you, so they’ll try to cheer you up. Who came up with that line?”
One commenter said, “Emphasis on try. Abstract ideas like gaming, art, music, etc., are not the same as people. People get tired of trying to help someone who isn’t helping themselves. People will try and try, but eventually, people will distance themselves from you if you’re not making an effort/progress, and it’s not because they don’t love you, but it’s because 1. They most likely can’t stand to see you in a sh-tty state because they care so much, and 2. Nobody can make you love yourself; you literally have to find that within yourself. The best people can do is try and point you in the right direction or give you an idea. The rest is up to us.
“Sidenote: You guys do know there’s a difference between love and sympathy, right…? No shame in taking what you can get, but it’s important not to confuse the 2.”
One user added, “You can’t properly love someone else if you don’t love yourself. Then you end up putting a ton of pressure on your partner because all of your attention/needs are being put solely on them instead of yourself. It’s easy for your partner to literally become your whole world and reason for living which can lead to losing yourself in them when you don’t love yourself. The moral of the story is you’re asking for dependency issues getting into a relationship without loving yourself; trust me, it’s why I’m single now after 3 of the best years of my life…”
20. You’ve Never Been on a Date
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One Redditor shared, “I’ve been single my whole life. Never been on a date. I’m not the prettiest, but I know I still have worth, and I know what I want to do in life and won’t settle.”
Another user replied, “Not so much difference. Sometimes, I want to know how it feels to go on a date, but no one has ever asked me out, or I have asked them because I am not attracted to my guy friends. It’s fine, though. Just keep on believing that one day it’ll be my time to experience it or not, considering I’m getting older and it’s just so hard to find someone I want to be with; even if I’ve found this person, it wouldn’t be sure that they wanted to be with me.”
Do you agree with the list above? Share your thoughts and leave a comment!
Source: Reddit.
These are 10 Things That Completely Destroyed The Love in a Relationship
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There’s no question that relationships can be confusing, but here are some of the top things to avoid if you want to keep your relationship healthy!
10 Actors and Actresses People Refuse to Watch Ever Again
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We all have a favorite actor or actress, but most of us have a least-favorite as well. Check out this list of actors and actresses people never want to see performing again!
Top 10 Worst Human Inventions of All Time
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Some inventions are world-changing, and some of them, well, they change the world in the wrong ways. Here are some of the worst inventions Redditors could think of.
10 Famous Celebrities Who Look Like They Smell Terrible
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We’ve all had moments of hygiene faux pas—but these celebrities just look like they don’t take care of themselves at all.
10 Terrible Fads People Are Glad Died Out
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Every fad has its time in the limelight, but some of them come and go faster than others; and some just need to die out right away. Check out this list of fads of which people were happy to see the last.
Still working from home, post-COVID? It’s probably time to turn that living room workspace into something more functional and stylish.
The COVID-19 pandemic sent a lot of workers scurrying into work-from-home situations to escape the madness and otherwise stay safe. Although many have since returned to the workplace, plenty of others are still working from home, often in makeshift office quarters. In a home with limited space, like the typical apartment, this can blur the lines between the living area, office area and everything in between.
It’s time to carve out a dedicated office space (if you haven’t already)
At the beginning of the pandemic, it seemed like sudden work-from-home situations would be temporary. But as the days dragged into weeks, months and beyond, a lot of employers and staff realized the tremendous benefits of remote work. No one enjoys a painful and time-consuming commute, and it’s simply much more comfortable to take a conference call in pajamas than in heels or pointy-toed dress shoes and a pantsuit.
Once the whole thing was mostly behind us, a lot of employees continued to work remotely, even if only on a part-time basis. Unfortunately, upgrading to a place with more square footage is not in the cards for many people, forcing workers to live, work and play in the same small area. Since it’s better for sleep quality to keep business out of the bedroom, that leaves the living room space as the front-runner for most home offices. And while many people have been using laptops on the couch for a while now, the problem is that the lack of a designated work area can affect job performance.
Dedicated workspaces promote concentration
It’s so easy to get distracted when working in the middle of your living room, leading to reduced productivity and possibly an upset boss. While you’re sitting in sight of that stack of mail, an annoying pile of unfolded laundry or whatever other chore needs doing, it’s likely to worm its way into your brain, pulling it away from critical work functions.
It’s tough to unplug after work hours are over
The flipside is also true of working from a couch. When the laptop is in full view, it’s easy to plug back in on the weekend or during the evening off hours. This is a problem because overworking can cause everything from neck and shoulder stiffness to stress or even serious health problems. Having time to rest and recharge is critical to one’s personal wellness. Work-life balance is no joke and trickier than it may seem.
Productivity goes up in a dedicated workspace
People are more efficient when they have a routine and a place that forces them to focus. Working in some sort of dedicated office space gets employees in the mind-frame that it’s time to get the job done, not surf the internet or watch reality television. Plus, no one wants all of that office-related clutter to take up valuable living space.
Key ways to create a living room and office combo
It’s easy enough to create a functional and effective office space in one’s living room with a few tools and an open mind. Take these critical steps toward making your home office into the most productive space possible.
Carve out a corner
Take a measured look at the living area and identify any pieces of furniture that are simply taking up space. Relocate, sell or store such items and rearrange the remaining bits so that your office can fit neatly into a corner. Bonus points if it faces a window because natural light is always a plus!
Invest in functional office furniture
There are certain pieces that no office would be complete without, including a desk, an ergonomically friendly chair and a filing cabinet (or some other storage space). If you’re concerned that you’re not getting your steps in around a conventional office, try a standing desk with an adjustable height option or even one that attaches to a treadmill to keep moving. Or, stick with a conventional desk and take calls on your feet whenever possible to stretch your legs.
Invest in the right equipment
Since video conferencing is here to stay, consider a professional-grade conference room camera (some even hook up to your television) and set up a ring light to put you in the best possible lighting. Don’t forget a pair of noise-canceling headphones to block out any rowdy neighbors, garbage trucks or other miscellaneous background distractions.
Another idea for designating a space is using an attractive and portable divider, like this privacy screen in rustic barnwood style to section the space off from the rest of the room. This will allow you to focus on work without a wandering eye, plus it’ll keep professional items attractively out of sight from the living area. No one wants a printer visible from the coffee table, right?
Lastly, add in a couple of pretty green desk plants and some colorful artwork for inspiration. This doesn’t mean that you can never use a lap desk on the couch again, but it does offer a vastly more professional and productive space to work from when the situation calls for it.
Get the job done right in the ideal home office
For many, the switch to remote work has been a positive one that they wouldn’t trade for anything. So set yourself up for success with a workspace that illustrates your commitment and capabilities. Find your dream apartment today!
A freelance writer based out of the Atlanta area, Alia has penned articles during her decade+ career for such sites as HowStuffWorks, TLC, Animal Planet, Zillow and many more. Her favorite things to write about include fitness, nutrition, travel, healthcare and general lifestyle topics. A graduate of the University of Georgia, Alia’s an avid Dawg, but she also loves reading, sewing, eating all things chocolate and playing sports with her husband, three boys and beloved border collie, Flash.
We already knew Millennials were selfish and bad savers, so it probably comes as no surprise that they don’t know the first thing about closing costs.
They just seem to know that they want to buy a home, regardless of the costs involved, which I suppose is somewhat bittersweet to those in the industry.
While many see the 18-34 age group as the future of the real estate market, mainly because of their immense size, their perceived lack of knowledge may come off as a bit disconcerting.
A new survey from ClosingCorp, a provider of real estate closing data, found that two out of three Millennials who plan to own a home are “Not At All” aware of closing costs.
Closing costs include things like title insurance and escrow fees, appraisal fees, lender fees, home inspections, and so on.
The fees are quite substantial, and can range anywhere from two to five percent (or more) of the purchase price, so they shouldn’t be taken lightly or ignored.
The good news is that either the buyer or the seller can pay them, so even if young buyers are unaware of the costs, they might be able to avoid paying them out-of-pocket.
That means the deals should still close, though it does kind of tell you that these prospective buyers may be ill-prepared to purchase real estate.
Even if the loans close, these borrowers may not get the best deals, or they may wind up in over their heads.
Older Folks Clearer on Closing
Older folks seem to be a lot more knowledgeable, perhaps because they’ve already been there before.
As you can see from the graph, those 55 and older are well aware of closing costs, and most 35+ are also pretty aware.
However, across all age brackets more than one third of potential home buyers indicated that they were either “Not Very” or “Not At All” aware of closing costs.
So there’s still a major lack of financial literacy in this country, which is something I’ve been disappointed about for a long time.
Where do you learn about these things? And when? Only after making a mistake the first time around?
Well, the survey also answers that question, though the learning seems to come from interested parties, not from an impartial university professor or housing counselor.
When asked how they learned about closing costs, the overwhelming response was from their real estate agent.
Many also learned about closing costs from independent research, so kudos to them for trying to make sense of it all.
For Millennials, they were twice as likely to get the lowdown from a real estate agent than a lender.
ClosingCorp CEO Brian Benson noted that the results show “Millennials are more dependent on realtors than previously presumed.”
That’s somewhat ironic given the fact that they grew up in the Internet age, where everything can be researched in mere seconds at the tap of a button.
Read more: Is your real estate agent choosing your lender for you?
Nestled in the heart of Virginia, Richmond serves as a living testament to America’s past, with its well-preserved architecture and historic landmarks. From its role in the American Revolution and the Civil War to its thriving arts and cultural scene, Richmond has a rich heritage while embracing the present. But what else is Richmond known for? In this Redfin article, we will guide you through the ins and outs of the city according to the locals. Whether you’ve lived in the city for years or you’re looking for homes for sale or apartments in Richmond, read on to learn more about this vibrant city.
1. Low cost of living
Richmond, VA is gaining attention for its attractive and affordable lifestyle, with reasonable housing costs, a median sale price of $385,000, and lower rental rates than neighboring cities. The cost of living in Richmond is 3% lower than the national average and 13% lower than in Alexandria, making everyday expenses, dining, and entertainment more manageable. Richmond’s affordability and diverse amenities attract individuals and families seeking a high quality of life without breaking the bank.
2. Bustling neighborhoods
Richmond, VA is known for its charming cityscape with bustling neighborhoods that blend history, culture, and modernity. Each neighborhood has its distinct charm, creating a diverse and engaging urban experience.
“Weekends are so fun in Scott’s Addition neighborhood,” shares local family photographer Jacqueline Burns. “Bouncing between breweries, wineries, and arcade bars, I always enjoy taking in live entertainment at the city’s many live music venues. I especially love visiting Maymont Park in spring to enjoy nature and wildlife. The area offers big-city entertainment with a small-town vibe and is a great place to raise your family.”
3. Virginia State Capitol
Richmond, VA, proudly holds the distinguished title of the state’s capital, a position it has held since 1780. As Virginia’s political and administrative center, the city plays a vital role in shaping the state’s governance, legislation, and history. The Virginia State Capitol, designed by Thomas Jefferson, stands as a symbol of Richmond’s significance in American democracy and history, having witnessed key events such as Patrick Henry’s famous “Give me liberty or give me death” speech during the American Revolution.
4. Vibrant downtown
Steeped in history, the downtown area seamlessly blends the old with the new, offering a captivating mix of architectural marvels, modern high-rises, charming cobblestone streets, and plenty of things to do.
Tony Greene, a local portrait and landscape photographer, adds, “You can enjoy your day in Richmond driving around looking at murals painted by local artists, grabbing lunch in any one of our fantastic local restaurants, enjoying freshly brewed craft beer, and finishing the day off watching the sunset over the James River from just about any perch in the city.”
5. Delicious cuisine
From mouthwatering barbecue joints to trendy farm-to-table restaurants and international eateries, Richmond’s food offerings cater to every palate, making it a food lover’s paradise.
Xiaoqi Li, a local wedding photographer, says, “Richmond has such a vibrant food scene. A recent favorite of mine is Jubilee. You can’t go wrong with anything they offer, whether shrimp and grits at brunch or scallops and roasted chicken at dinner. The bartender also makes the best mocktails and cocktails alike, so everyone at the table will love every part of their meal.”
6. Thriving art scene
The city’s passion for the arts fosters a vibrant and inspiring atmosphere that attracts artists and art enthusiasts from all over, from a diverse array of galleries and street murals to art festivals and community events.
Sara O’Connor, a Richmond artist, shares their perspective of the art community, “Richmond is well-known for creating and supporting thriving artists through direct-to-consumer sales and boutique shops like Pop of Confetti.”
7. Great location
Richmond, VA is known for its exceptional location, strategically positioned in the heart of Virginia, making it a convenient hub for travel and commerce.
“Not only are we rich in history, but we are perfectly central to all the surrounding hot spots,” shares Nicki Metcalf, a wedding, engagement, and portrait photographer. “DC is two hours away, the Blue Ridge Mountains are 1 hour away for a hike, and want to swim in the ocean? Virginia Beach is 2.5 hours away. You can’t go wrong; this city has everything.”
8. Renowned museums
Richmond, VA is renowned for its wealth of history, art, and culture. The city’s museums offer a deep dive into various facets of American and Virginian heritage, making it a cultural hub for residents and tourists.
“In the museum district lives the Virginia Museum of Fine Art, which has tons of permanent collections – which are free to see,” says Tina Thomas, a local brand and headshot photographer of Tina Take My Photo. “Richmond also has “RVA First Fridays,” a monthly celebration of art, community, and culture along the arts district downtown. In the West End, the Glen Allen Cultural Arts Center is another place to celebrate visual and performing arts.”
9. James River
The James River flows gracefully through downtown, offering a picturesque backdrop for residents. The river’s presence provides abundant outdoor activities, from kayaking and paddleboarding to hiking and cycling along its scenic trails. Belle Isle, a natural oasis within the river, allures adventurers with its rocky terrain and serene beauty. Furthermore, the James River Park System, a collection of parks lining the riverbanks, offers a sanctuary for nature enthusiasts and urban explorers seeking tranquility amidst the city’s hustle and bustle.
10. Richmond International Raceway
The Richmond International Raceway, widely known as RIR, holds a prominent place in the world of motorsports and entertainment. As one of the premier NASCAR venues, RIR attracts racing enthusiasts from all over the country. Thrilling short-track racing, where drivers navigate the high-banked turns and exhilarating straightaways, creates an electrifying atmosphere that captivates fans and drivers alike.
I’ve been gardening for almost fifteen years. I started with flowers, added herbs and vegetables, then a few fruits, then a lot more. I’ve gardened in plots and pots and raised beds. I’ve drooled over bedding plants, spent too much on whatever was my obsession-of-the-moment (bulbs! daylilies! gooseberries! ornamental grasses!), and have certainly read my fair share of plant books and magazines.
By this time, I’m somewhat jaded about most gardening educational materials — I find they are often at one extreme or another: either an all-around reference that is about as exciting to read as The Merck Index, or beautiful but vapid plant-porn packed with color photos of planting schemes and “outdoor rooms” that can only be reproduced in Southern California!
However, I give a rave review — and two green thumbs up — to a recent find on container gardening: The Bountiful Container by Rose Marie Nichols McGee and Maggie Stuckey (2002). This book was suggested last spring by a reader named Beth in J.D.’s overview of square-foot gardening. It will find a permanent place on my gardening reference shelf, despite the fact that I don’t plan to grow anything new in a container in the foreseeable future. (Although this book just may have changed my mind.)
A Great Gardening Book
The Bountiful Container beats most gardening books hands-down in several key areas:
It focuses on growing plants that give a beginning gardener the most “bang for the buck”, plants that are both edible and decorative and can be grown with limited space: vegetables, herbs, a small selection of fruits, and edible flowers.
It is splendidly organized and easy to read, and has a great index, too.The Bountiful Container is full of practical information that covers the entire life span of the crops: choosing varieties, planting, watering, fertilizing, dealing with potential pests and diseases, tips for success, and the much anticipated harvesting and using/eating. Included are recipes and craft projects to make with your harvest. Bits of historical flora-lore are tucked in here and there for fun.
The level of detail is just right for almost any skill level, and the writing is pleasant to read and easy to understand. There are five full pages of instructions on the best ways to grow potatoes, and two full pages on radishes. (Radishes!) The information the authors provide will practically guarantee success compared to the somewhat generic and unhelpful lack of detail on the back of most seed packets.
When J.D. writes about our crop gardening, inevitably there are questions (and some audible moaning) about the possibilities of growing in containers. Container gardening can be much more than a clay jar of strawberries or a cherry tomato in a hanging basket!
Who might need to do their farming in a pot? Anyone without a yard (think apartment with a balcony) or who can’t dig up the yard (some renters). Those who are transitory and want to take their garden with them, or those with really bad growing conditions (such as poor soil).
Containers can also supplement a traditional garden, providing a handy pot of herbs just outside the kitchen door, an experimental area for kids to have their own garden, and allowing tender plants to be moved according to the season. For example, I have a bay laurel tree than lives in the herb garden until October, when I move it to a sheltered porch for the winter. [J.D.’s note:I am the one who moves it, and it’s heavy.] And my mint is in a pot to keep it from taking over!
Sowing the Seeds of Success
The Bountiful Container is specifically tailored for success growing edible crops in containers. The book teaches:
How to choose suitable varieties (chosen for compactness, hardiness, etc).
About increased watering and fertilizing requirements for container-bound plants. This is the biggest commitment for containers — they must be watered daily and fertilized regularly.
How to stake or trellis to help plants grow vertically and guard against wind damage.
Why you shouldn’t even try certain plants in containers (corn, melon, cabbage etc).
How to combine plants for a pleasing effect, to stagger harvest, and how to choose plants with similar water/sun/soil pH needs.
Although growing in containers will never give you enough produce at one time to can 16 quarts of spaghetti sauce or 30 pints of green beans, it’s just the thing for small-scale pick-and-eat farming.
One actual weekend harvest from August 2006 — not from containers.
I award The Bountiful Container bonus points for a number of reasons. First, most of the information is applicable to traditional in-the-ground gardening, and the thorough treatment of topics will teach even experienced gardeners a thing or two. (Although be sure to adjust watering and reduce fertilizing schedules if not growing in containers.)
Next, the authors don’t care if your containers are simply old 5-gallon buckets! They understand that some container gardens are for looks and others are for sheer practicality, but like most true gardeners, they think any growing, healthy plant is a thing of beauty, no matter what it may be growing in.
The book also covers low-impact pest and disease controls — the authors advocate the least toxic approach possible. The sizeable section on herbs is better than most books I’ve read devoted solely to the same topic. If you are just starting your garden and are considering growing herbs (in pots or the ground), I heartily recommend checking it out.
The Bountiful Container was written by Oregonians, but location-dependent issues are covered in detail, such as choosing the right apple for a warm-winter climate, how to protect your container plants from deep freezes and strong winds, and which plants need to go inside for the winter or be harvested before frost hits.
I love the very specific hints about which plants to begin growing from seeds versus when to buy plant starts. This is a much-misunderstood topic. Seeds are cheap, but they are not always the smartest investment.
Theme Gardens
McGee and Stuckey politely assume you know practically nothing, then explain it clearly and concisely. But they also assume you can decide for yourself which plants you want to grow, so they don’t offer many “paint-by-numbers” gardens. If you want a book that tells you exactly what to plant in what kind of pot so it looks just like the picture, you would be better served with Bob Purnell’s Crops in Pots.
The authors do offer a handful of “Theme Garden” plans. These plans, either in one container or a grouping of smaller pots, list specific plant varieties and how to arrange them. For example, “The Lemonade Party” on page 218 combines a Meyer lemon tree with lemon verbena, lemon-scented geraniums, basil and thyme, with yellow begonias, nasturtiums and violas. (The flowers are all edible.)
For the more serious cook, “Country Kitchen in the Round” (page 98) uses six pots to pack in one precious tomato plant, basil, cucumber, eggplant, lettuce, nasturtiums, parsley, peas, peppers, rosemary, bush beans, a pepper, sage, summer squash, and culinary thyme! Early season and late season crops are rotated to make the most of the space.
Two Small Weeds
This book does have two shortfalls that should be noted:
Since it is ostensibly about container gardening, you will not find crops such as corn, watermelon, butternut squash, asparagus, and many more, including most flowers. (Luckily, these authors have produced other books, which I may have to investigate.)
This book has no photos, only pen-and-ink sketches. Since I associate these with mail order gardening ripoffs (which never look as good as promised), I was initially put off by the lack of photographs. But the solid information soon won me over. In their defense, it would be difficult to photograph such an arrangement as the “Country Kitchen” described above; by the time the eggplant, pepper and tomato plants are fruiting, the peas and lettuce would be done and gone.
Although J.D. often advocates borrowing books from the library, The Bountiful Container is one I know I will refer to throughout the entire growing season, so I’m glad we found a used copy to purchase (for $11.50). Maybe when I’ve learned its contents by heart, I’ll pass it along to a gardening friend. They’re bound to enjoy it as much as I have.
Further Reading
For more information on growing food in containers (or smalls spaces), check out:
Now’s the time to get your garden space ready. The danger of frost is passing in many parts of the United States. Garden fairs and plant sales have begun to pop up like weeds. Get out there and grow some food!
Earlier this week, April wrote with a personal finance predicament. She and her husband need to buy a car, but it’s not something they’d budgeted to do any time soon. Fate intervened:
My husband and I are trying to pay down our debt and to save money. This morning he called to tell me that he had been rear-ended in traffic. He’s fine, thankfully, but he thinks they’ll total his car, which was paid for. My best guess is that they’ll give us $4000. I don’t want another car payment, but I’m not sure what to do here.
The payments on my car are $240, and we have two years left. We pay $1013 for the lot we own [on which they plan to build a home –j.d.], and $200 for his motorcycle, which we’re trying to sell (keeping the bike isn’t an option). The rest goes toward the normal bills and paying off the credit card, which we have about $8000 left on. We don’t pay rent right now, don’t have cable, and we’re cutting back everywhere possible. Our two luxuries are Netflix and high-speed Internet.
What’s our best option?
Should we buy something a little more than the expected $4000 settlement and finance the rest?
Should we try to make it on one car and put the money toward the debt?
Something in between?
My husband absolutely has to have a car because he makes sales calls all day long. I carpool to work and don’t drive, but on occasion I need to take my own vehicle. Maybe we could make other arrangements on those days, but it’s hard to account for any circumstance that could come up. I want to be really smart about the choice we make, because I don’t want to derail all of our hard work. We really want this to be the year that we get our finances in order.
April adds that because of where they live, biking to work isn’t an option, and neither is public transportation. Her choice seems to be: remain a two-car family for convenience, or make a go with one car while tackling the last of the debt.
Often I don’t have a strong opinion about reader questions, but this time I know exactly what I’d do if I were in April’s situation. I’d defer the decision. I would take the money, place it in savings, and try to get by with just one car for a few weeks. If this worked well, I’d pay down the debt. If there were problems, I’d buy a car.
I actually experienced something similar several years ago. In December 2000, a tractor-trailer rig sideswiped my beloved Geo Storm during the morning commute on the freeway. My car was totaled.
I didn’t have an emergency fund and was already deep in debt. But the car was paid off. The insurance company gave me $2000 for it. Rather than make the smart move — buy a used car — I borrowed $15,000 to purchase a brand new Ford Focus, the car I’m still driving today. That choice prolonged my life in debt.
April’s situation is slightly different, of course. I had to buy a car; she and her husband have the option of using the money to pay off debt instead. But is that the best choice?
Have you had to make the choice between buying a car or paying off debt? Which did you choose and why? (Or, to look at the question from a different angle, have you ever opted not to have a car in order to avoid debt?) What would you do if you were in April’s shoes?
A divisive capital proposal released Thursday could lead banks with $100 billion or more in assets to further distance themselves from the housing finance business.
The proposal specifically adds higher risk weightings for portfolio products with elevated loan-to-value ratios. It also more generally raises capital requirements in a manner expected to deter investment in mortgage servicing rights, which have had a high risk weighting.
“This is a disincentive for banks to make higher LTV loans,” said Pete Mills, senior vice president of policy and member engagement at the Mortgage Bankers Association, of the new proposal.
“I think we need more time to dig into how this might impact warehouse lending and MSRs,” he added. “I would say for MSRs, in the context of a rule that raises capital standards by 15 to 20%, institutions are going to potentially shed assets that have such high risk weights.”
The MBA and others interviewed for this article said they also are continuing to study what the details of the rule might mean for securitized mortgages.
For now, the central concern of mortgage and housing industries in the proposal appears to be the new LTV risk weightings, which officials have specifically called out for comment, noting that it was not their intent to hurt the low- and moderate-income housing markets with them.
However, that’s likely what they’d do, said David Dworkin, president and CEO of the National Housing Conference.
“The rule would significantly discourage banks from lending to people with lower down payments. These are generally first-time homebuyers who don’t have the multigenerational wealth or home equity to afford a 20% or greater downpayment,” he said.
Some wealthier borrowers with high-balance mortgages could be impacted as well.
“Depending on the LTV of those jumbo mortgages, this could impact the bank’s willingness to do high LTV jumbo or change the cost of how they price those loans relative to the rest of the market,” said Jon Van Gorp, chair at law firm Mayer Brown.
There’s some precedent for higher risk weighting for elevated LTVs from a credit perspective. Borrowers with less equity may be less incentivized to continue paying. International capital rules also have LTV distinctions, but those in the U.S. proposal are 20% higher, Van Gorp said.
Currently, lenders generally risk-weight well-underwritten, first-lien mortgages held in portfolio by 50%, although that number can go up to 100% or more for a home loan outside of that box, said Van Gorp.
The proposed U.S. scale of risk weighting goes down as low as 40% for LTVs of 50% or lower. But any mortgage with less than a 20% down payment will end up with a risk weighting of 60% or higher, hurting any affordability buyers in that category.
Dworkin called the approach “not consistent with modern mortgage underwriting or the true risks to the financial institution for making lower down-payment loans,” noting that “modern mortgage underwriting considers a wide range of factors, not just one.”
The proposal further compounds concerns about the ability of low- to moderate-income borrowers to access the mortgage market because it does not appear to provide any breaks for mortgage insurance, a standard offset to low down payments, Dworkin said.
“The rule ignores that basic reality in mortgage finance,” he said.
There also are concerns that the new LTV-based requirements could lead to increased taxpayer risk in government-related programs and nonbank mortgage concentration if it ends up funneling these loans away from banks and into those markets.
If the current capital requirements moved forward, “basically, we would be telling banks, we want to encourage you to allow lesser-regulated independent mortgage banks to control even more market share than they do already,” he said.
The LTV risk weightings also could be an impediment to Community Reinvestment Act lending requirements that banks have, Dworkin added.
All these arguments could be compelling to banking officials, but they’ll likely have counter-considerations like the experience during the Great Recession, when particularly loose underwriting decimated the performance of an excessive number of particularly high LTV loans.
The banking crisis this year also appears to be weighing on the minds of policymakers and accounts for the reduction in the asset threshold for banks to $100 billion from $250 billion, since it involved some players in that size range, as well as some mortgage concerns.
However, arguments can be made in response that reforms in underwriting and the Great Recession have drastically improved loan performance, and the more recent banking crisis was linked more to things like runs on uninsured deposits and asset-liability mismatches than mortgage credit risk, said Andy Duane, attorney at mortgage law firm Polunsky Beitel Green.
“If the industry comments on those LTV requirements that are over and above what was required in the international framework, I think we might have that ability to stop higher prices and higher rates down the road,” he said.
Payment for order flow (PFOF) refers to the practice of retail brokerages routing customer orders to market makers, usually for a small fee that’s less than a penny. Market makers, who are required to deliver the “best execution,” carry out the retail orders, profiting off small differences between what shares were bought and sold for.
Retail brokerages, in turn, use the rebates they collect to offer customers lower — or often zero — trading fees.
How Does Payment for Order Flow Work?
Here’s a step-by-step guide to how payment for order flow generally works:
1. A retail investor puts in a buy or sell order through their brokerage account.
2. The brokerage firm routes the order to a market maker.
3. The broker collects a small fee or rebate – the “payment” for sending the “order flow” or PFOF.
4. The market maker is required to find the “best execution,” which could mean the best price, swiftest trade, or the trade most likely to get the order done.
The rebates allow companies offering brokerage accounts to subsidize rock-bottom or zero-commission trading for customers. It also frees them to outsource the task of executing millions of customer orders.
Usually the amount in rebates a brokerage receives is tied to the size of the trades. Smaller orders are less likely to have an impact on market prices, motivating market makers to pay more for them. The type of stocks traded can also affect how much they get paid for in rebates, since volatile stocks have wider spreads and market makers profit more from them.
Quick Tip: The best stock trading app? That’s a personal preference, of course. Generally speaking, though, a great app is one with an intuitive interface and powerful features to help make trades quickly and easily.
Why Is PFOF Controversial?
While widespread and legal, payment for order flow is controversial. Critics argue it poses a conflict of interest by incentivizing brokerages to boost their revenue rather than ensure good prices for customers. The requirement of best execution by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) doesn’t necessarily mean “best price” since price, speed, and liquidity are among several factors considered when it comes to execution quality.
Defenders of PFOF say that mom-and-pop investors benefit from the practice through enhanced liquidity, the ability to get trades done. They also point to data that shows customers enjoy better prices than they would have on public stock exchanges. But perhaps the biggest gain for retail investors is the commission-free trading that is now a mainstay in today’s equity markets.
What Are Market Makers?
Market makers — also known as electronic trading firms — are regulated firms that buy and sell shares all day, collecting profits from bid-ask spreads. The market maker profits can execute trades from their own inventory or in the market. Offering quotes and bidding on both sides of the market helps keep it liquid.
Market makers that execute retail orders are also called wholesalers. The money that market makers collect from PFOF is usually fractions of a cent on each share, but these are reliable profits that can turn into hundreds of millions in revenue a year. In recent years, a number of firms have exited or sold their wholesaling businesses, leaving just a handful of electronic trading firms that handle PFOF.
In addition to profits from stock spreads, the orders from brokerage firms give market makers valuable market data on retail trading flows. When it comes to using institutional or retail investors, market makers also prefer trading with the latter because larger market players like hedge funds can trade many shares at once. This can cause big shifts in prices, hitting market makers with losses.
PFOF in the Options Market
Payment for order flow is more prevalent in options trading because of the many different types of contracts. Options give purchasers the right, but not the obligation, to buy or sell an underlying asset. Every stock option has a strike price, the price at which the investor can exercise the contract, and an expiration date — the day on which the contract expires.
💡 New to options? Check out our options guide for beginners.
Market makers play a key role in providing liquidity for the thousands of contracts with varying strike prices and expiration dates.
The options market also tends to be more lucrative for the brokerage firm and market maker. That’s because options contracts trading is more illiquid, resulting in chunkier spreads for the market maker.
Quick Tip: Options can be a cost-efficient way to place certain trades, because you typically purchase options contracts, not the underlying security. That said, options trading can be risky, and best done by those who are not entirely new to investing.
Criticism of Payment for Order Flow
Payment for order flow was pioneered in the 1980s by Bernie Madoff, who later pleaded guilty to running the largest Ponzi scheme in U.S. history.
Critics argue retail investors get a poor deal from PFOF. Since market makers and brokerages are only required to provide “best execution” and not necessarily the “best possible price,” firms can make trades that are profitable for themselves but not necessarily in the best interest of individual investors.
In 2016, the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) subpoenaed market making firms for information related to the execution of retail stock trades. The DOJ was looking into whether the varying speeds at which different data feeds deliver market prices made it look like retail clients were getting favorable prices, while market makers knew they actually weren’t from faster data feeds. A trading firm settled with regulators in 2017.
Defenders of Payment For Order Flow
Proponents of payment for order flow argue that both sides — the retail investors and the market makers — win from the arrangement. Here are the ways retail customers can benefit from PFOF, according to its defenders:
1. No Commissions: In recent years, the price of trading has collapsed and is now zero at the biggest online brokerage firms. While competition has been a big part of that shift, PFOF has helped bring about low trading transactions for mom-and-pop investors. For context, online trading commissions were $40 or so a trade in the 1990s.
2. Liquidity: Particularly in the options market, where there can be thousands of contracts with different strike prices and expiration dates, market makers help provide trading liquidity, ensuring that retail customer orders get executed in a timely manner.
3. Price Improvement: Brokerages can provide “price improvement,” when customers get a better price than they would on a public stock exchange.
4. Transparency: SEC Rules 605 and 606 require brokers to disclose statistics on execution quality for customer orders and general overview of routing practices. Customers are also allowed to request information on which venues their orders were sent to. Starting in 2020, brokers also had to give figures on net payments received each month from market makers.
The Takeaway
Payment for order flow (PFOF) refers to the practice of retail brokerages routing customer orders to market makers, usually for a small fee. Payment for order flow is controversial, but it’s become a key part of financial markets when it comes to stock and options trading today.
Industry observers have said that for retail investors weighing the trade-off between low trading costs versus good prices, it may come down to the size of their trades. For smaller trades, the benefits of saving money on commissions may surpass any gains from price improvement. For investors trading hundreds or thousands of shares at a time, getting better prices may be a bigger priority.
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In today’s post-rate-hike press conference, Fed Chair Powell managed to hit on all of his consistent talking points (data dependent, job not done on inflation, future rate hikes not predetermined) AND introduce a few newer thoughts (policy now considered “restrictive,” 2% inflation not foreseen until 2025 or so) all without leaving the market with a clear cue to buy or sell. Granted, there was some buying, but not much, and arguably only to defuse the defensive trades seen over the past 2 days. This is a prime example of threading the needle. He acknowledged developments, respected the static talking points, and left all the relevant decision making for the broader committee in the future (and even then, only with the benefit of additional economic data between now and the next meeting).
09:45 AM
essentially flat overnight. gains at the 8:20am CME open and now bouncing a bit. 10yr down 0.7bps at 3.883. MBS up 1 tick (0.03).
01:52 PM
All quiet ahead of Fed. MBS up 2 ticks (.06) and 10yr up .4bps at 3.894
02:04 PM
Slightly stronger after Fed. 10yr down 0.7bps at 3.883. MBS up 1 tick (0.03)
03:05 PM
Additional gains during press conference. 10yr down 3.3bps at 3.857. MBS up a quarter point
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JPMorgan Chase will buy nearly $2 billion worth of mortgages to grease Banc of California‘s purchase of PacWest Bancorp, Bloomberg reported.
The bank entered into an agreement to buy $1.8 billion of single-family residential loans at a discount, according to the outlet.
Banc of California and PacWest announced on Tuesday an all-stock merger with a $400 million equity raise from Warburg Pincus and Centerbridge Partners to create a bank with $36 billion in assets.
Banc of California said Tuesday in a presentation that it entered into a “contingent forward asset sale agreement” for its residential mortgage portfolio in a presentation without naming the buyer.
The mortgage transaction is expected to close by late 2023 or early 2024 when the merger is scheduled to be completed, Reuters reported.
Banc of California and PacWest plan to sell about $7 billion of loans, mortgage bonds and other assets in their securities portfolios to pay down expensive debt, according to Bloomberg.
It’s not clear whether JPMorgan Chase plans to retain the $1.8 billion in loans or sell them to investors.
Banc of California and JPMorgan declined to comment.
JPMorgan acquired First Republic Bank‘s mortgage loans – almost entirely jumbos – when it bought the troubled bank in May.
JPMorgan acquired about $173 billion in First Republics loans – of which about 60% of First Republic’s loans were single-family mortgages, according to the firm’s annual report.
Following the earlier failures of the three regional banks — Silicon Valley Bank, First Republic and Signature Bank — there was fear that PacWest would be next to fail.
PacWest has a similar business model to First Republic Bank, which served wealthy clients by offering interest-only mortgages in which the borrower didn’t have to pay back any principal for the first 10 years of the loan.
As with many other regional banks, PacWest had billions of dollars worth of unrealized losses in its bond portfolio and uninsured deposits that were at risk of being pulled.